Bling Kong Blog

Blingin' It All Back Home

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 16:34:00 +0000

BLING KONG took the stage at Brooklyn's Union Hall for one last hurrah before going underground to finish our epic (as in ambitious and as in taking effing forever to create) concept album, known only as BLING KONG II. We were happy to have old BK friends like Eurotrash 3000, Cocksucker and Danarchy join us on stage. Were you there?

More pics from our friends Johnny Leather and Bryan at Subinev for you to enjoy.

CMJ and BLING KONG's LAST SHOW (this year)

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 19:56:00 +0000

Not only did the Baltimore City Paper call our CMJ show "an ironic schlock-filled embarrassment" but the All Music Blog declared The Narrator's set (which wrapped up the showcase we kicked off) their worst show ever (in the best way possible). If you weren't there, you missed one hell of a fun-filled trainwreck!!

That's the weird thing about CMJ-- you show up at some showcase to see a serious, subtle, orchestral group and if you time it wrong you end up getting a facefull of BLING KONG. Which is anything but serious or subtle, and certainly not quiet. This is always the case with our CMJ showcases since we seem to partner with labels that have fabulously diverse rosters. So it goes -- thanks so much Polyvinyl and Flameshovel for letting us freak out your labels' fanbase!

November you will have a chance to see BLING KONG on stage with a band that couldn't be more up our alley -- loud, balls out rock and roll from Providence's Mustang Cobra. We'll also be sharing the cozy stage at Union Hall with Scotland Yard Gospel Choir. This show is NOT to be missed, because this winter BK will be retreating into our lair to put the final touches on our choose-your-own-(mis)adventure rock opera in the hopes of releasing the epic album version in 2008.

In other words, Saturday Nov. 17th will be your last chance to see BLING KONG live this year!!

After After the Jump

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 20:03:00 +0000

This weekend BLING KONG played the After the Jump Festival, a blogger-curated, all-day music fest at Brooklyn's Studio B. The funds raised went to support music education.

Since it was a blogger festival (which was like an AV convention only hipper), we've got some nice write-ups from our blogging fans. Thanks everyone!

Jonny Leather
New York Press (Courtesy of Mr. Leather)
The Modern Age
Pop Tarts Suck Toasted
Subinev
And a very special interview with Disconap (also posted on Music Slut)

Be sure to check out the other great bands that took part in this day of music fun, including Locksley, Golem and Ra Ra Riot.

You'll note in the pics how sweaty we were in the Studio B back room hotbox. In fact our own Hotbox was so sweaty she lost her top!

Oh, and the New York Times said our name again!

Never Again

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 14:20:00 +0000

Next time you wake up hungover after a BLING KONG show to find that the hooker you took home has robbed you blind, stealing everything including your wallet, your goldfish, the ice trays and hangers... rejuvenate with this BK approved Hangover Recovery Kit!

SHAFTED

noreply@blogger.com (Hotbox) — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 04:50:00 +0000

Despite the good omens written in the sky, we got shafted by the Vangina's driveshaft on our way to Boston. Hijinx ensued. I got pictures of half of it.

Special thanks to Dave the mechanic, and Ad Frank for giving us a reason to drive to Boston and then introducing us to Dave so we could drive home. Extra special thanks to Andy Camaro-Savant for being silly and letting us stay at his place.

Peep the photographic evidence here.

Good times.

Summer SolsTits

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 14:42:00 +0000

I swear that's my last "tits" pun.

Last night, BLING KONG had the unique opportunity to play on the street, in our street clothes, chilling out coffee house style, and playfully teaching children how to spell "vagina." It was the Make Music NY festival where roughly 600 bands and performers all across NYC took to the streets to celebrate the longest day of the year with music. Check out some pics, thanks to Jonny Leather, and be sure to note the cute doggie in the window, the grizzly dude leering at us from stage left, and Sizzler with his shirt off (can't miss that).

Gorill- ah ah AH aaahzzzzz

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 15:33:00 +0000

So annoyed that Gorillaz beat us to this.

Damon Albarn's cartoon pop chaps Gorillaz are to release a range of sex toys. The vibrators will feature pictures of the various imaginary members, and cost an impressive $275 each, or $1,650 for a complete set for those have lots of friends of a fornicatory bent.

Jamie Hewlett revealed that he's working with sex toy company Jimmy Jane on the range, which he describes as the "ultimate member" collection.

-from playlouder.com

We Are ScienTits

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 18:33:00 +0000

Last weekend's show with The Spinto Band, The Teeth and (surprise!) We Are Scientists was excellent! Great people in the crowd, great people on stage. It was pretty much the tits.

Speaking of tits, We Are Scientists have a Tits, Pits & Bits photoblog. What is that, you ask? Well pretty much they said, "Show us your tits (no? pits?)" and this is what they got. Milkshake, Moneyshot and I all make an appearance.

Why We Play Music

noreply@blogger.com (sizzler) — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 15:07:00 +0000

We have a GREAT show coming up on Saturday with the Teeth, Spinto Band and some mysterious band called Beat Up Old Fellows. (I looooove all these bands!) As per usual there is a door charge, but, as you may have guessed, the portion we get doesn't make BLING KONG rich. Even the bigger bands we've played with don't make a full living on this stuff. Some people say they do it for the fans. Well, we aren't on Dischord; we do it for the sexual action. Seriously. If you want to understand how it works, please see the funniest craigslist posting ever.

Spend Your Weekend With BLING KONG, New York City

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 15:03:00 +0000

That's right, we're asking you out. On a date, this Saturday. You won't regret it. We're playing with three fantastic bands -- The Teeth (celebrating their CD release!), The Spinto Band, and Beat Up Old Fellas. Plus, we put out on a first date.

Guaranteed to Get You Laid*

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:51:00 +0000

Need a little help attracting the opposite sex (or the same sex, depending)? Check out BLING KONG Apparel - it will look great on the bedroom floor tangled up with a BLING KONG Thong**

*Offer not valid in all states
**Coming soon thanks to prizes from Contraband

Boobs Meets Snakedawg

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Fri, 18 May 2007 16:24:00 +0000

Bling Kong's own cheerleading lady Boobs goes on a date with Snakedawg. Watch love bloom...

No Secrets Between Sailors

noreply@blogger.com (sizzler) — Sun, 06 May 2007 19:07:00 +0000

Milkshake celebrated her birthday with a karaoke bash last night. This is HotBox, Shredder and I singing our soft-rock favorites:

Don't we look like we're having fun? Or going for a dental exam? Would you like to join us signing? You can! This Friday at the Mercury Lounge in NYC!

Cooking With BLING KONG!

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:25:00 +0000

In case you missed it, here's some highlights from Wednesday's BLING KONG cooking demo at The Brooklyn Kitchen.

Go On Babe, Just Touch It

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:19:00 +0000

After discovering each other through the soFISTicated Mates video dating service, our heroine Baby Blue goes on a date with BLING KONG's guitarist Sizzler. You thought your first dates were awkward...

I Like Food, Food Tastes Good

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 19:54:00 +0000

It is my extreme pleasure to announce that the indie rock cook book I Like Food, Food Tastes Good (by Kara Zuaro) is now on shelves! My recipe for Big Apple Quiche Puffs (originally concocted as an entry in the 2003 Pillsbury Bake Off... and probably the only truly original recipe I've so far created), is included in this quasi-cookbook along with recipes from 100+ awesome bands including My Morning Jacket, Franz Ferdinand, Death Cab for Cutie, They Might Be Giants, The Violent Femmes. How Bling Kong ended up in there is still a mystery to me!

Also, if you live around NYC/Brooklyn, next week on Wednesday evening May 2nd, I will be doing a food demo along with our very own guitarist/singer/meatlover Steakbomb at The Brooklyn Kitchen to spread the word for I Like Food and share some of the rock and roll foodie joy. Other celebrations for the book include a happy hour tomorrow Apr 26th at Hi-Fi and an all afternoon BBQ Sat. May 5th at Union Pool.

Read more here and here.

Cheerleader Practice - Behind the Scenes

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 14:34:00 +0000

See what happens when the Bling Kong cheerleaders get together to practice their moves. And get Kim "Boobs" Garcia's thoughts on soFISTicated Mates...

For another look at BK behind the scenes, here's what happens when someone with a big screen TV, Nintendo Wii and a karaoke machine lets us come over.

Thanks Paul and Dino!! And thanks Aaron for another great visit to Providence. Someone actually did a cartwheel in front of the stage, and then two guys got arrested for fighting outside the club-- rock and roll! We also had a great DIY time at Edward's loft party in Brooklyn last week and on our triumphant return to The Middle East in Boston. Thank you to everyone who came out. And no thanks to that jerk who stole Kim's pom pom!!

Hit Machine

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 15:53:00 +0000

Have you ever wondered where BLING KONG gets these great song ideas? Maybe it happens something like this...

As Steakbomb put it, "I'm glad we sing and play our instruments better than we act." See for yourself next week:

Meet Snakedawg

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 14:26:00 +0000

Maybe you've heard us singing about a certain heart breaker named Snakedawg. Well when we first met him, he was on the search for love...

BK PWNS Contraband

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 21:10:00 +0000

BLING KONG has won not once but twice for Heavy.com's ongoing Contraband video contest! Watch for us in some new prize-redeemed gear soon. Oh, and watch our newest videos on Heavy.com, then watch them again!

In other news, BLING KONG will be joining our friends Dracula Zombie USA, The Shamblers and Imanant for a wild Brooklyn loft party on April 19th. The Creature will be DJing between bands as well, so come prepared to dance! This will kick off a weekend jaunt up to Providence and Boston. More info in the events section.

Your New Mate - Baby Blue

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 16:29:00 +0000

We in Bling Kong have been trying out this new video dating service called soFISTicated Mates. You can see some of our videos in posts below (and on our Heavy.com channel). This week our drummer Totally went on his first soFISTicated Mates date with this weird bitch Baby Blue, and it was a little, well, see for yourself:

You too can enter a video to soFISTicated Mates. Just send your video to soFISTicatedmates@blingkong.com.

We Could Talk or Not Talk for Hours

noreply@blogger.com (Shredder) — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 15:30:00 +0000

Hey everyone. Wanna date me? Check my style out:

Bling Kong Spring 2K7 Tour Diary: Part 4/4 "Hello, Cleveland!"

noreply@blogger.com (Hotbox) — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 03:44:00 +0000

Saturday, March 3rd

We are following behind the Parlour Boys' van and trailer. It's starting to get cold and snowy and generally unpleasant. We stop for some Taco Bell for lunch, though I run across the parking lot to Dairy Queen to find something slightly more fried. I think of the book that Alex from Franz Ferdinand wrote about all the rad food he's had while on tour and can't help but feel he's got to be at least mostly full of shit. You Could Have It So Much Better, indeed.

It's a haul to Cleveland and it sucks and is painful, not to mention cold, windy, and snowy, but it's all for the Grog Shop so we're okay with that. Bling Kong is a huge fan of roadside snacking, and we seem to have picked up one of just about everything in the convenience store. Smells in the van at 5:11 pm:

iced coffee
salsa con queso
Flamin' Hot Crunchy Cheetos
Tiger Balm
flatulence
tuna salad
beef jerky
filth
Taco Bell-ch

We are a sight to behold, and even more to sniff.

We're a little on the late side to the venue, but we still get a nice proper soundcheck in. We are surprised to find out we'll be headlining that evening, which is just fine with us. The lineup sounds really f'in rad: Parlour Boys, a Brooklynite klezmery ensemble called Golem (in honor of Purim), a double dutch extravaganza called Double Dutch Will Take You Higher, and us. Parlour Boys bring it, Golem rocks, and then the double dutchers enter the stage out of somebody's "vagina". YELLO, okay, you have our undivided attention now. Backstage as we put on the last of our mascara, Steakbomb hips us to Purim. Hooray for holidays celebrating libations and genocide not happening!

So I can't speak for how we sounded through the PA in the audience, obviously, but the sound onstage was rad as hell. It was a really special treat to play the Grog Shop in the first place, and having such a great sound system made it even better.

After the show, it's time to say goodbye to the Parlour Boys. It's kind of sad, but we trade CD's and get t-shirts to remember eachother by. We make plans to hang out in April when they're in NYC to record their triumphant debut album. We are staying the night with one of Totally's friends, and it makes our fucking lives to play with his totally cute dog! Then it was naptime before the big drive home. We almost left Steakbomb and Totally at a rest stop, but we failed. Haha. And we all lived happily ever after, waiting impatiently for our next several-day stretch out on the highway.

Next time, we'll nail the trailer's wheels on.

Bling Kong Spring 2K7 Tour Diary: Part 3/4 "Brooklyn, son"

noreply@blogger.com (Hotbox) — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 05:53:00 +0000

Friday, March 2, 2007

I'm not sure I can ever look at Totally the same way again.

When we wake up in the morning, we realize it's Friday and Heavy.com should have our latest Contraband video up for the world to see. Contraband is this rad contest where we made a video every week for like 16 weeks, whereby people get to get to meet us and see what we're all about and give us their support by viewing the videos a lot, because at the end, the band with the most total views gets a lovely fantastic prize which we promise not to spend all on one hooker. I think Totally's cinematic contribution very well sums up what the Bling Kong spirit is all about:

All of a sudden I want to go to the KFC on the corner...and I'm vegetarian, so what gives?

Anyway, any day you get to start by saying "Damn, we are so awesome" is a good day indeed. I can't really understand Sizzler's spider monkey description over the phone of what he, Totally, and the Parlour Boys were up to after our show...something about a dance party, shenanigans...but it sounds like the Parlour Boys are party casualties. Not bad for a night's work, boys. Hope you're well enough for fun in your hometown.

We're all thrilled to be coming back to Lexington. Mikey and everyone at the Dame were so awesome to us in October, and now we hear the show is almost sold out. The Parlour Boys, headlining tonight, enjoy a really touching amount of hometown love.

Adding to our excitement for the show is that it's only a 3 and a half hour drive from Columbus! We have time to have a proper soundcheck on the Dame's fucking fantastic sound system, and have a nice relaxing sit-down meal at Taste of Thai across the street.

Dude, if this is what Thai tastes like, you might want to steer clear. My pad thai was rather lackluster, Milkshake found a hair on her plate, and there was NO BEER--it was on the menu, but not on the premises. I will be a secret fatty for Thai food for the rest of my life, but this made me deeply sad. Shave my hair off, write 666 on my forehead, run around screaming 'I am the antichrist!' before being beaten down by the hospital staff kind of sad.

A gaggle of local brosephs think I can't tell who's yelling 'BROOKLYN, SON!' at me while I retrieve my bass from its road case--the first and only static we recieve. He thinks he's being really cute and throwing lots of shade, and judging by his friends' giggles, they do too. It makes me feel weirder than I would have ever expected. Maybe it's just because we've gotten so much love that it seems antithetical to LEXINGTON in my mind. I know the bar will love me as much as I need, though. The Dame doesn't do drink tickets, which is all well and good because they let bands drink for cheap as fuck. My Basil Haydens are $2 all night!

We manage to rally back from dinner sadness and have a really fun show. Proper rockin', even, as judged by Steakbomb and Shredder. The audience wants Baby Blue to go home with Bling Kong and then have a three-way with Snake Dawg to try and save the relationship, so I get to sing my song at the very end of the set. It's fun to play frontwoman for five minutes. Brooklyn Son makes his way to the front of the stage as we're saying our goodbyes, shouting. I look right at him. "Brrrrrroooklyn. Son."

We change back into our civvies and dance it up for the Parlour Boys' set. More Basil Hayden ensues. Hijinks are occurred. We're dancing, and then Shredder opens the door to the van: "Boxy, wake up. You have to go inside or you'll freeze." I don't remember leaving the club. The following morning, I don't remember getting to Chez Parlour, either. From what I can vaguely remember and piece together after the fact, Milkshake got really excited that the Boys have Guitar Hero, and only Steakbomb realized how much bourbon I had, headed me off at the pass, and put Boxy Brown to bed. I fail at rock and roll! Isn't that supposed to be when all the fun happens? But thanks to SteakMom for watching out for my bourboning. I'm only mad at myself for partying it up so much with Mr. Hayden that I missed (to the best of my knowledge) chilling with the Parlour Boys and looking like this while playing Guitar Hero:

But god damn it. $2. $2.00. Can you really blame me?

Bling Kong Spring 2K7 Tour Diary: Part 2/4

noreply@blogger.com (Hotbox) — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 03:39:00 +0000

Thursday, March 1st, 2007

I am maxing and relaxing on the most awesome beach. It is warm and sunny, and my paleness gleams in the sunlight. I turn over to work on an even tan, and I see Totally out of the corner of my eye running full speed towards me.

"Box, wake up. Need to get the new trailer from U-Haul." It is a cold morning in da Jerz. Fuuuuck.

We get all that mess taken care of with Sizzler, and return victorious to the motel, where we are greeted with hot Dunkin Donuts breakfast. I need to find me a wifey so I get more of that action.

It's a long drive to Columbus, but we're excited. The show is going to be rad, plus we always seem to find ways to entertain ourselves. We've had various medical maladies. One of us recently had an unceasing nosebleed causing said person to be admitted to the hospital, and it is shared with us that what precipitated the hospital admission was throwing up two toilet bowls full of blood. "Clumpy clots," to be exact. Sounds tasty, doesn't it?

"Honey Bunches of Clumpy Clots?"
"No, Clumpy Bunches of Clots."
"Count Clotula!"
"Lucky Clots."
"Frosted Mini Clots"
"Clot Krispies!"

MMM, god are we good at putting off our appetites. What also puts off a few appetites (but certainly not mine) is the Dreamgirls song breaks we seem to keep breaking into, generally in connection with Cocksucker's iPod.

"When Jennifer Hudson won that Oscar, I half expected her to thank 'YOU and YOU and YOU'..." Totally chuckles.

For the rest of tour, "YOU and YOU..." becomes just a part of the landscape, with various things replacing "You're gonna love me" at the end, including My Little Pony, whatever snacks we are putting in our grill, whatev. Steakbomb even gets his own version: "Au JUS Au JUS Au JUS..."

Clearly, we can keep ourselves entertained for a long time. All the way to Columbus from Jersey, in fact. The last time we were in Columbus was in October for our glorious evening at the Bling Ball (see October 2K6 Tour Diary Part 5/5). Though this show isn't exactly the Wexner Center, it's Little Brother's, a good sized venue. It's a long hard drive through Pennsylvania (thank you, Vangina, for not shitting the bed this time through!), but when we see the stage at Little Brother's, it's all worth it. It's huge! I haven't been so pleasantly surprised by such hugeness since my third date with my last steady boyfriend.

Also making the trip worth making is meeting our new best friends, the Parlour Boys. Mikey at the Dame introduced Totally and Sizzler our last time through Lexington, and they lent their regional success to our cause by basically booking this tour with us and for us. They've just signed to a label, and it is only a matter of time before the world begins asking them how much a moustache ride costs these days.

Their van (with their own non-crippled U-Haul trailer) is already parked along Little Brother's loading alleyway when we get there, so we get to meet the shadowy figures behind the impressive tour schedule immediately. What astoundingly nice boys. What are they doing on a three-date tour with us?

Once load-in is through, the kittens no longer need to be herded, so away they go. The bar hooks me up with a free bottle of booze cider called Hardcore. For one evening, drinking like a little bitch is totally hardcore. Milkshake and Boobs do their hair. Shredder, Cocksucker, Cocksucker's brother, Steakbomb, and I are huuungry. The opening band, Hugs And Kisses, intrigued us with their stage setup, including a toilet. Say wha? I think the Parlour Boys may have described it best. In their words: "Holy shit. this group hugs and kisses is a complete theatrical production about the loss of some dope sneakers. there is a talking toilet, pig masks, a devil, and some great songs. we love playing w/ bands like this..."

The Parlour Boys themselves played a rad set of super danceable poppy goodness. If the Killers could write more than four good songs per album, it might sound something like this set. This is going to be a fun few days.

Cocksucker's brother has offered to put us up for the night. He rocks. Totally and Sizzler want to go out drinking etc. with the Parlour Boys. After last night's I Never, we do not follow. We have to regenerate enough of a liver for the bourbon extravaganza that is Lexington, after all.